California in October

I suddenly left for California in October...wish it was for a different reason. I had wanted to come down for the release of New Moon to see it with my dear dear Cali friends! My Mom had called me and told me that my Dad was admitted in the hospital. This is not exactly a new thing for us. Throughout my life I can remember a few times when he was admitted...once for his back, once he snapped his Achilles tendon...ouch!!!, pneumonia, diverticulitis, etc. The Campbell side of my family also likes to go into the hospital around the holidays...kind of a joke in our family. when my Mom told me that Dad was admitted in the hospital for what she thought was pneumonia, I was not very worried. About 2 hours later she called me frantic and told me that he was crashing and the doctors told her to get his family here with him. I was hysterical and I started pacing the house. I just didn't know what to do all the way in Idaho. I knew I wanted to be there, but I'm in Idaho. After calling my David, he came home and got me on a plane. I had about 20 minutes to pack...so when I got to Cali...I learned I had no pants and winter clothes...it was like 90 in California! My dear sweet friends Amber and Laura came and got me and took me straight to the hospital. My family and extended family and close friends were all there when I arrived. I will never forget walking into my Dad's room in the ICU and seeing my faithful and courageous mother standing there. She didn't realize I would be there so soon I don't think. She ran over to me and we hugged and we both sobbed. We stood there for a little awhile and then I turned to my Dad. He was sedated and was on a ventilator. The ventilator was doing all the work for him. I knew it was bad. I also knew he needed to get off the ventilator soon otherwise they would give him a trachea. I had never seen him so sick. I wrapped my arms around him and layed on his chest and cried. I wished he could've talked to me...he always says the right things...and his hugs, the very best in the world, I wanted a hug. I talked to him and told him how much I loved him and how important he is to me and my family and of course...GET BETTER!!! I was caught up to speed by my Mom and the sweet nurses and I was feeling very hopeful that he had a chance of recovering.

 The next 11 days were filled with trials, faith, spiritual moments, joy, love, and peace. I cannot express the feeling of peace that overrides your sorrow. It is truly a gift from the Savior and our Father in Heaven. I received a few blessings over the course of the 11 days and it is amazing how instantly you feel that peace. I watched my Mom get blessings on a daily basis so she could get through another day and it is a blessing to see her tense tired body relax as she receives the blessing from our Father in Heaven. I am truly grateful for my family, friends, faith, prayers, and love that we experienced. We could not have made it through this without all of it. 

I have a greater understanding of the Priesthood and the power behind it. My Dad received several blessings through his earthly struggle. They all said similar things but one said that his body would be healed. This blessing was received on day 3. It brought us comfort and we were able to have the faith to get through. Our desire and our hope was confirmed in this blessing. The next several days things were calm and my Dad was steady. He was still very ill but he wasn't getting worse. We went through what seemed to me like an episode of House. I was having chemical sheets faxed over and we went over and over where he was and what he was doing. Nothing was working. But we still had the faith and positivity to go on. Day 9 was a hard day. We watched my Dad go into code blue. They let us in and my Mom courageously cheered him on! She is amazing. After some time, they got him to take some oxygen in but his sat level was at a 22 and it needs to be at a 90. We sang hymns and prayed and watched my loving mother fight for him. She had us come in the room with her and told us how faithful we had been. The Lord was pleased with us and my Dad is so proud of us. The time had come that we needed to turn our faith to the will of the Lord and let Dad go. We each agreed and took our turn saying our tender sweet goodbyes. I never thought I would ever be able to honestly tell my Dad that it was ok. As the spirit swept over me I knew it would be ok. Things would be ok. I knew that through the power of the priesthood things would be ok.

My Dad died on Sunday October 25th, 2009. Many have said..what about the blessings that he received? What about the promises in those? We remained faithful through our trial and we have continued to do so. We have felt the love of our Savior and have received a small glimpse of what he must have endured so that we all may live again. It was our will that my Dad would be healed and live with us and have a fabulous life with us. However it was our Father in Heaven's will that my Dad return to Him. My Dad is healed...in the best way possible. I know he is dunking a basketball if there is basketball in the Spirit World. (: In the scriptures it talks about to "Trust the Lord with all thine heart." We did and still do. We read a talk that was given at a BYU conference about the will of the Lord and priesthood blessings. This gave us great comfort. Prophets have given similar blessings and had similar outcomes...they weren't wrong in the blessing, but our earthly desires are different than the will of the Lord at times. "His thoughts are not our thoughts." 

I have a greater appreciation for the priesthood and the blessings we receive from it. I still feel the comfort of the Spirit and still feel the peace in my heart. I just need to get my head and my heart on the same page. I have never felt so much sorrow in all my life. I hope that I won't have to feel so much in a very long time. I can't imagine how our Father in Heaven felt when they crucified the Savior. The heavens wept...I believe to show us it is ok to feel sad, sorrow, and to grieve. I love my Dad. I miss him. I want him back. I know that things will be ok. That he is ok. All is well. I have faith in our Father in Heaven's plan and am so grateful for the knowledge we have. It does bring comfort. It brings peace. We love our Father in Heaven and trust in Him.

The Campbell family will be ok.