The Plan of Salvation

This week for FHE I made donuts and we talked about the recent events that have taken place in our family. I have been a bit worried about Dylan...he was my Dad's buddy! Dave and I talked to them about the Plan of Salvation and Dave had them draw it out. To my relief the kids knew more than what I gave them credit for. After we talked about it, Dylan turned to me and said, "Mom, I think that Grandpa is teaching the gospel. And I think that he is teaching Michael Jackson right now." We laughed and told him he may be right. I bet that Dad is "moonwalking" with Michael right now....(:

Gotta LOVE kids!

My Mother

My Mom on the left...isn't she beautiful?, me, and my handsome husband

My Mother is simply the most amazing woman. At times in my life we have not seen eye to eye and I know I frustrate her and she does me. Lets be honest..mothers and daughters sometimes fight. But we never hold it against each other and we love each other very very much. She is one of my biggest cheerleaders. She gets excited for me and my accomplishments and my families accomplishments. She cries with me if I am having a hard time. She is wonderful! I cannot imagine being the mother of 6 and being able to be the best for each one...but she is.

My Father would be...no, I know he is so proud of her and will continue to be proud of her as she continues her life here on earth. She never gave up hope and had so much faith. She is truly inspirational. I had an increase in my faith because of her. She was my Dad's biggest cheerleader! He coded once with us there and she cheered him on..."Come on Rick, you can do it! We need you! We love you!" She wasn't hysterical. She was calm. She made sure my Dad heard her. He did. After they stabilized him I noticed her in deep sincere prayer as she held his hand and cried. I saw the concern and love she has for my Dad. I saw the way she prayed...for the Lord's will...yet still pleading to take care of my Dad. Shortly after, she was talking to my brother and together they cried and prayed. They then asked us sisters to come in and to be with them. Together as a family we prayed and asked for the will of the Lord. She told us how faithful we had been...and are. That it was time to turn our faith and to let our Dad go. Each of us stood there and cried as we held each other. The most amazing feeling of peace came over me and I knew that it would be ok. Each of us one by one went over and said our goodbyes. At that moment we had "angels" arrive to visit us...the Thurman's. They stood quietly in the corner not knowing what they had come in on. We needed them at that moment. I do not know if I could have ever led my family the way my mother did. She was so unselfish. She was willing to let her best friend go. She was willing to have a very foreign future because of her faith. During this time she led us in prayer, in scripture, in faith. All of us followed and tried to be like her. I think we did. My Mom lets others comfort her and she cries with them. That is not an easy thing to do. She is also so so strong. She knows the lords plan and she knows where she is heading. She knows my Dad is preparing a garden for her and is waiting for her arrival. It will be a sweet reunion. She talked of the time when she said goodbye to my Dad for two years as he went on his mission. She said it was tough but she knew it was what he was supposed to be doing. She said that it was a great moment when they were reunited after his mission and knows that when they are reunited again it will be just as great and sweet. It is amazing how she finds comfort in this time. I feel I fall apart and forget what I know. I really don't but some days are just tough. I know she has those days. She handles them with such grace.

My Mom is the meaning of grace to me. She carries herself in a way that is pleasing with the Lord. She tries to be the best she can. She loves others. She is a great friend. She loves her children. She loves her husband. She has lived a very unselfish life. She is a hard worker...at home and at her job. She has taught all of us to be like this. She has taught us the gospel and has taught us to apply it to our lives. She is a beautiful woman...inside and out. I watched my Mom closely in the days that I was with her and my Dad. She never got angry with our Heavenly Father, the doctors, others around her. She listened to the information and made the choice to be positive and hopeful. She knew that everyone around her was doing their best. She handled herself in such a beautiful way. My Mom is grace. I love her so much. I know she will be ok. What an example she is to me in my life...my whole life. I am grateful for her. I am grateful that she is my mother. I am grateful for the time she takes for me and my family. I don't know if I can ever repay her for all that she has done. I guess I do as I teach my family the way she taught me. I am grateful for her faith. I am grateful for her. I love my Mom.

Doctors and Nurses

From day one, my Dad had the best of the best by his side. We had the most wonderful nurses and doctors trying to figure out the mystery behind my Dad's illness. The nurses took such great care of him. Many of the nurses allowed our positive thoughts and ideas overflow onto them...our faith carried us through and they saw it. Some of the nurses were a bit tougher and looking at the results of his serious condition would tell us that we needed to be realistic...soon we won them over and brought them to our side. (; They saw and felt our faith too. The doctors would come in wanting to tell my Mom good things...good news...but they didn't most days. They studied and searched for new ideas and ideas they had forgotten about. They did their BEST. one doctor told us that he loved going into my Dad's room, it felt good in there...different. We brought the nurses treats every shift change...they needed to know we appreciated them...we did and still do. We got great care from them and we love them for the hard work they do. After my Dad passed the doctor told us that he had heard of us...our family. That we were kind and positive and cooperated with his staff and he thanked us for it. It is funny because we were just being us...being the way my parents expected of us....the way they raised us. We heard as well that my Dad's passing has affected them differently and they cried when they heard. They never spoke to my Dad just cared for his body and his family. I like to think that they know my Dad through us...his family. We love the staff at Riverside community and will always be grateful for them and the care they gave to our Dad. 

At my Dad's passing there was a P.A. there with him...a P.A. that my Dad sent on a mission as Bishop. I told him how sorry I was that he had to be there to witness that. And he told me that it was his honor to be there to see him graduate. he stayed with us the rest of the night and told us how hard the doctors and nurses fought for my Dad...for us. I feel such great peace with the knowledge of this and that David could be there for my Dad and for us. We will eternally be grateful to him as well. 

Parts of our stay in ICU

I share these now as part of my journaling but also to show the love we felt from each of you. It was AMAZING! We had an easier time because of all of you!

Katelyn was in the ICU waiting room with us for several days and this is how she was for all of it. She was calm and went with it. Not easy for a baby that is wanting to walk around. She was so good! She is such a doll!

The baby whisperer...seriously. If anyone has a rough night call Doug Grover! He had such a sweet way with Kate..or maybe it was the Ipod....lol!

So sweet...

We started to decorate my Dad's room. It was cheerful and wonderful. We all felt good walking in his room.

Grandkids making signs as well...this is Dylan's. 

Read it! This chapter has great meaning to us and our expierence in all of this.

All of us girls were his favorite daughter...a gift of my Dad's...he loved us all so much...and we knew it! XOXOXO

Meals...sorry I didn't take a picture of ALL of them...but this was in the cafeteria. I think we could've sold plates of food in there and made a fortune! (;

All the meals were appreciated and YUMMY!

My Dad's garden

My Mom keeping my Dad's garden in tip top shape. We knew if he recovered that he would be disappointed if we let the garden go! (: lol

Vanessa...gorgeous even with a mask covering her face!

A banner from my Dad's seminary class.

California in October

I suddenly left for California in October...wish it was for a different reason. I had wanted to come down for the release of New Moon to see it with my dear dear Cali friends! My Mom had called me and told me that my Dad was admitted in the hospital. This is not exactly a new thing for us. Throughout my life I can remember a few times when he was admitted...once for his back, once he snapped his Achilles tendon...ouch!!!, pneumonia, diverticulitis, etc. The Campbell side of my family also likes to go into the hospital around the holidays...kind of a joke in our family. when my Mom told me that Dad was admitted in the hospital for what she thought was pneumonia, I was not very worried. About 2 hours later she called me frantic and told me that he was crashing and the doctors told her to get his family here with him. I was hysterical and I started pacing the house. I just didn't know what to do all the way in Idaho. I knew I wanted to be there, but I'm in Idaho. After calling my David, he came home and got me on a plane. I had about 20 minutes to pack...so when I got to Cali...I learned I had no pants and winter clothes...it was like 90 in California! My dear sweet friends Amber and Laura came and got me and took me straight to the hospital. My family and extended family and close friends were all there when I arrived. I will never forget walking into my Dad's room in the ICU and seeing my faithful and courageous mother standing there. She didn't realize I would be there so soon I don't think. She ran over to me and we hugged and we both sobbed. We stood there for a little awhile and then I turned to my Dad. He was sedated and was on a ventilator. The ventilator was doing all the work for him. I knew it was bad. I also knew he needed to get off the ventilator soon otherwise they would give him a trachea. I had never seen him so sick. I wrapped my arms around him and layed on his chest and cried. I wished he could've talked to me...he always says the right things...and his hugs, the very best in the world, I wanted a hug. I talked to him and told him how much I loved him and how important he is to me and my family and of course...GET BETTER!!! I was caught up to speed by my Mom and the sweet nurses and I was feeling very hopeful that he had a chance of recovering.

 The next 11 days were filled with trials, faith, spiritual moments, joy, love, and peace. I cannot express the feeling of peace that overrides your sorrow. It is truly a gift from the Savior and our Father in Heaven. I received a few blessings over the course of the 11 days and it is amazing how instantly you feel that peace. I watched my Mom get blessings on a daily basis so she could get through another day and it is a blessing to see her tense tired body relax as she receives the blessing from our Father in Heaven. I am truly grateful for my family, friends, faith, prayers, and love that we experienced. We could not have made it through this without all of it. 

I have a greater understanding of the Priesthood and the power behind it. My Dad received several blessings through his earthly struggle. They all said similar things but one said that his body would be healed. This blessing was received on day 3. It brought us comfort and we were able to have the faith to get through. Our desire and our hope was confirmed in this blessing. The next several days things were calm and my Dad was steady. He was still very ill but he wasn't getting worse. We went through what seemed to me like an episode of House. I was having chemical sheets faxed over and we went over and over where he was and what he was doing. Nothing was working. But we still had the faith and positivity to go on. Day 9 was a hard day. We watched my Dad go into code blue. They let us in and my Mom courageously cheered him on! She is amazing. After some time, they got him to take some oxygen in but his sat level was at a 22 and it needs to be at a 90. We sang hymns and prayed and watched my loving mother fight for him. She had us come in the room with her and told us how faithful we had been. The Lord was pleased with us and my Dad is so proud of us. The time had come that we needed to turn our faith to the will of the Lord and let Dad go. We each agreed and took our turn saying our tender sweet goodbyes. I never thought I would ever be able to honestly tell my Dad that it was ok. As the spirit swept over me I knew it would be ok. Things would be ok. I knew that through the power of the priesthood things would be ok.

My Dad died on Sunday October 25th, 2009. Many have said..what about the blessings that he received? What about the promises in those? We remained faithful through our trial and we have continued to do so. We have felt the love of our Savior and have received a small glimpse of what he must have endured so that we all may live again. It was our will that my Dad would be healed and live with us and have a fabulous life with us. However it was our Father in Heaven's will that my Dad return to Him. My Dad is healed...in the best way possible. I know he is dunking a basketball if there is basketball in the Spirit World. (: In the scriptures it talks about to "Trust the Lord with all thine heart." We did and still do. We read a talk that was given at a BYU conference about the will of the Lord and priesthood blessings. This gave us great comfort. Prophets have given similar blessings and had similar outcomes...they weren't wrong in the blessing, but our earthly desires are different than the will of the Lord at times. "His thoughts are not our thoughts." 

I have a greater appreciation for the priesthood and the blessings we receive from it. I still feel the comfort of the Spirit and still feel the peace in my heart. I just need to get my head and my heart on the same page. I have never felt so much sorrow in all my life. I hope that I won't have to feel so much in a very long time. I can't imagine how our Father in Heaven felt when they crucified the Savior. The heavens wept...I believe to show us it is ok to feel sad, sorrow, and to grieve. I love my Dad. I miss him. I want him back. I know that things will be ok. That he is ok. All is well. I have faith in our Father in Heaven's plan and am so grateful for the knowledge we have. It does bring comfort. It brings peace. We love our Father in Heaven and trust in Him.

The Campbell family will be ok.